In my last post I explained that I finally realize what it means to fully surrender but I didn't give a battle plan on how to fully surrender. As I said previously, to fully surrender you must first come clean of any deep dark secrets that may be haunting you. Those chains of past hurts, mistakes, decisions we've done, both intentionally and unintentionally.
So here it is, I'm finally coming clean. As a child I was sexually abused. There's no need for details because it's all in God's hands now, but I have never told that to anyone before expect a couple of very close and important people that have truly shown me what it means for God to love us unconditionally. Sadly my story doesn't end there, a few years after this happened to me I in turn did the same thing to a couple of younger kids. I was just curious. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. My thinking of right from wrong had been warped to believe that this was a natural part of growing up. That those older than you look and touch you because they're curious and then you in turn pass that along. But I realize that is not right. It's wrong and I have lived in fear of ever admitting that to anyone. I've lived in my own prison for nearly 20 years.
I have tried many times in the past to surrender my life to Christ but I was never fully surrendering because I refused to give up these chains of my past because I never wanted to admit that they happened. I lived a life of denial. I closed off that part of my life from anyone including myself, but most importantly God. It is now out in the open and I now fully surrender my life to Christ. I have asked for forgiveness and mercy on my soul.
You now know my life story, the question now is what will you do with it? Will you love me or hate me? That decision is yours. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness and let go of it. God has set me free from these chains. For the first time in my life I finally have freedom. Praise God that Jesus died so we don't have to live with chains like this. That we can finally have a real life. I've finally got a peace that I have longed denied myself because I let fear control me. But when you allow God to put the right people in your life to lead you to freedom and you trust Him anything is possible! I trust you Lord!
Thursday, September 22, 2016
Wednesday, September 7, 2016
What Does It Mean To Fully Surrender?
First off, before I even start with this post, I need to issue an apology to all of those that I have offended in recent weeks for some of the things I have said regarding God. I know I have offended many even if only a few have had the courage to actually tell me. I do sincerely apologize for that. My intentions were certainly not to offend.
Now that we've got that out of the way, onto our regularly scheduled program. What does it mean to fully surrender? That's a question I've been wrestling with for a long time, especially when so many ask me if I've done that. I become frustrated by it and take offense to it.
Of course I've fully surrendered my life to God I say. Why else do I go to church and claim to be a believer and follower of God? But when you take the time to finally hash out what fully surrender looks like, when your friend Seth keeps you standing in the parking lot for over an hour after church, then you get to learn that maybe I've never fully surrender my life to Christ.
People are like onions, each layer needs to be peeled back to get to the root of who that person really is. Sometimes peeling away those layers is uncomfortable and painful. Opening up and making yourself vulnerable to people isn't easy, but it's a necessary process if we are to grow and become the person God wants us to be. We have to be willing to open up our true self to our brothers and sisters in Christ. That's the only way to grow in our personal relationship to God. As long as we hold onto our deep dark secrets we will never fully surrender our life to God.
Now that I know what it means to fully surrender, I need to do it. Knowing is only half the battle. The other half is actually living that out. Choosing to fully surrender, knowing that I have made myself available for God to use me to do his work.
An old wise man once said, in order to find yourself you must first lose yourself. That wise man was Wilson from Home Improvement. LOL! Sorry but I just had to throw that in for a laugh. I've always been a big Tim Allen fan. But in all seriousness, Jesus tells us that very thing in Matthew 16:24-26.
That rings true to us today. We need to take up our cross daily and make God the center focus of our life. That is what it means to fully surrender. I need to do that. I need to allow God in. I need to make myself vulnerable to the group of people that God has surrounded me with. Let God use them to make me the man he wants me to be and that starts now.
Now that we've got that out of the way, onto our regularly scheduled program. What does it mean to fully surrender? That's a question I've been wrestling with for a long time, especially when so many ask me if I've done that. I become frustrated by it and take offense to it.
Of course I've fully surrendered my life to God I say. Why else do I go to church and claim to be a believer and follower of God? But when you take the time to finally hash out what fully surrender looks like, when your friend Seth keeps you standing in the parking lot for over an hour after church, then you get to learn that maybe I've never fully surrender my life to Christ.
People are like onions, each layer needs to be peeled back to get to the root of who that person really is. Sometimes peeling away those layers is uncomfortable and painful. Opening up and making yourself vulnerable to people isn't easy, but it's a necessary process if we are to grow and become the person God wants us to be. We have to be willing to open up our true self to our brothers and sisters in Christ. That's the only way to grow in our personal relationship to God. As long as we hold onto our deep dark secrets we will never fully surrender our life to God.
Now that I know what it means to fully surrender, I need to do it. Knowing is only half the battle. The other half is actually living that out. Choosing to fully surrender, knowing that I have made myself available for God to use me to do his work.
An old wise man once said, in order to find yourself you must first lose yourself. That wise man was Wilson from Home Improvement. LOL! Sorry but I just had to throw that in for a laugh. I've always been a big Tim Allen fan. But in all seriousness, Jesus tells us that very thing in Matthew 16:24-26.
Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?
~~~Matthew 16: 24-26
That rings true to us today. We need to take up our cross daily and make God the center focus of our life. That is what it means to fully surrender. I need to do that. I need to allow God in. I need to make myself vulnerable to the group of people that God has surrounded me with. Let God use them to make me the man he wants me to be and that starts now.
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