You Came To My Rescue

Just when I'm feeling as low as scum and as far away from God as I possibly can, he somehow pulls at my heart strings and breaks down the wall that I'm building between him and me. I don't know how he does it. It's truly remarkable the power that God has to get to you when you feel all alone and like nobody cares. But he does. He cares.

I don't know why when I start feeling overwhelmed by life, I pull away from God instead of running to him. I draw into myself and put as many walls as I can between myself and God. And then in once instance he blasts them to bits and my heart of stone melts in his hands. That's how I know I'm truly loved. Even if nobody here on this earth loves me God does. He always comes to my rescue when I need him the most. Thank you LORD. Thank you my God. Thank you for loving me when others don't.

I Miss My Brother

There are some songs that when you hear them they take to back to a certain place, time or person. Well I hear this song tonight and every time I hear this song I think about my cousin David. The song is 'If I Could Be Like That' by 3 Doors Down.

David was 2 years older than me. He was like the older brother I never had. We were very close. He was killed in a car wreak in 2002 when he was only 17. It's really hard to believe that it's been that long ago. I miss you David! I can't wait to see you again someday in Heaven!

The Girl I Love

There's a girl that I met just a few months ago but I feel like I had known her my whole life. I instantly fell in love with her. She's so wonderful. She's truly a beautiful person inside and out. But the most important thing about her is that she loves God and it really shows.

I think about her constantly. I dream about her. I love talking to her and being able to spend time with her when I can. I really believe that she is the one for me. I wish I could tell her that but I can't because she's already in a pretty serious relationship that is just ripping my heart out.

The dream I had about her last night was amazing. Her boyfriend (which I have never met in real life) did something to her that made her cry and I saw it and it really upset me to see her crying.

I went up to that jerk and told him what a big moron he was and then he punched me in the face, knocking me down.

I knew it was a dream because in real life I would have been down for the count and then after I collected myself I would have started swinging. But in my dream I didn't. I didn't feel a thing when he punched me.

I just picked myself up and told him that he needed to change his attitude or he was going to spend his life alone. Then I went over to the girl and told her how I felt about her and her tears of pain became tears of joy and she hugged me so hard I thought I was going to break. But it was the greatest feeling in the world.

It just kills me that it was only a dream and not real life. The only thing I can do is to continue to live my daily life for God doing the things I need to do and hoping that one day soon I will get the chance to tell this girl how I feel about her. Until then I'll continue holding true to this picture.

*The girl's name was withheld to protect her privacy.