Learning To Let Go

I think learning to let go is something that everyone struggles with at different times throughout their lives. Humans in general are creatures of habit who hate change and I know that definitely describes me.

We tend to just want to hang onto that someone or something that we're comfortable with no matter how much damage it does to us just because we're opposed to change. I am struggling with that myself in getting over Brittany and what we had together. I keep finding myself drawn back to her and ignoring all the negative things there was about the relationship we had. A relationship that was purely deadly because it lacked the most important thing you need in a relationship, God.

God gives us free will to make our own decisions but if you are truly saved and truly a person of faith, then you should want to do what God says and cling to Him in these times. There is a reason that relationship ended. It is because God has better for you. God will never deny you what is good and just.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously,

and he will give you everything you need.

~~~Matthew 6:33 (NLT)

I have learned that when we cling to these old relationships or things we are saying that we do not trust God. All of our hope, faith, and trust should be in God and God alone. Nothing else.

I once heard someone say that "faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase." That applies right now in this situation and all situations. Take the first step. Put your entire hope, faith, and trust in our LORD Jesus Christ!! He is the one and only Savior!!

I Won't Give Up

This is kind of building on my previous post, but I won't give up. I won't give up on you. I won't give up on me. I won't give up on us. That is what God says to us. No matter what happens to us God is always right there with us.

Don't love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said,

"I will never fail you. I will never abandon you."

~~~Hebrews 13:5 (NLT)

We endure trials all the time in our Christian walk. But we also endure trials when it comes to our home life of our spouse, kids, job, finances, ect.

One of the hardest things I deal with is seeing a friendship or different kind of relationship with a person end. I am such a fighter when it comes to trying to keep friendships or relationships because I am so loyal. It's a part of my personality. I don't want to let friendships or other relationships die because I am so resistant to change.

But I am slowly learning that maybe some some friendships or relationships ending is all a part of God's master plan. That while certain friendships are great in that they have helped me grow, that season has passed and it's time to let go. I believe that God gives us these friendships and relationships with people to help us grow closer to him and that when it's time for us to move it means having to say goodbye to those friendships or relationships because we're no longer growing closer to God. You're either growing closer to God are backsliding away from him. You're never just staying in one place in your relationship with God.

The song 'I Won't Give Up' by Jason Mraz describes how we should fight for our relationships with our spouses. That no matter what happens that we should always keep the faith. The same applies to our relationship with God. That no matter what happens in our relationship with him we should always stay strong in our faith and not be discouraged.

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your 

way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that 

when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 

So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, 

you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

~~~James 1:2-4 (NLT)

So brothers and sisters in Christ, remember that your trials are a chance to grow your faith in God. Don't be discouraged over them and don't turn away from God during the hard times that will come upon you, but lean on his understanding and boost in his comfort.

To My Future Wife

One of the many desires I have in my heart is to have a wife and children. In fact I even had a dream just a couple of nights ago about being the father to a young boy about 4 or 5 years old named Daniel. It was just a dream but it is one of the best dreams I have ever had because I was so filled with joy beyond belief. Now I don't know if that dream means anything or not but it just reinforces the desires I have to have my own family.

I have tried to do it on my own in my own way and that simply doesn't work. I knew deep down I was doing things the wrong way but still kept doing it because I was satisfied in just having a girlfriend and made her the number one priority of my life. But things don't work that way.

God needs to be the number one priority of my life. If God is the center of my desires everything else will be blessed upon me. Its actually a blessing that I got to experience the failed relationship I just had without God in it. It allowed me to learn so much about myself. It made me realize that I am completely nothing without God. I have given my life to God and turned to him to guide me. He is now my number one.

I am writing this to my future wife, the one I know God has in store for me. I know you are out there somewhere and I am working to make myself the man that God needs me to be in order to be the kind of husband and father that God has called me to be.

I don't know where you are in this world right now but I know that you are out there somewhere. I know God is preparing you to be the kind of wife I need in my life. I truly want to be able to love you like Christ loves us. I want to be able to love our future children like God wants us too.

I am praying for you! I am praying for you and know that you're also praying for me as well.

"This is my command--be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

~~~Joshua 1:9

I'm praying for you to have courage, peace, protection, prosperity and a purpose. I am also praying that over our future children. I know that you're praying for the same things because you're a Godly woman.

I do dream of what you will look like, what your voice sounds like, what your passions are. I wish I had you right now but I know that God's timing is perfect. If you're reading this, until the day that I get to meet you, I leave you with this song that I just absolutely love to the point of wishing I could sing it to you right now.

God bless you right now! God bless you forever!

I Just Don't Understand

I just don't understand why people overreact to such innocent things. What is it with this world that something that means absolutely nothing is taken absolutely the wrong way and people have to get hurt from it and experience great pain and disappointment.

Seriously, I just do not understand. I posted something so innocent and yet Derek Dale and the rest of the important people at Daystar completely overreacted for no reason. Yes I am 27 and I called a 12 year old girl beautiful. Big freaking deal! But because of that I can no longer serve on Wednesday nights, service with KPC or attend Motion. What kind of ridiculous crap is this? I could understand their issue if I had called her sexy or something else along those lines but not beautiful. Just a basic compliment that meant absolutely nothing other than me just being me, nice and caring.

Why in the world do I have to be so nice and caring. I had just finished telling someone the other day that I am too nice at times and it gets me in trouble. This is exactly what I was talking about. Because I am too nice and caring I am now experiencing great pain and can no longer do the things I love to do or that I am good at. The only thing I am good at. The reason I am going to school.

What kind of fool must I be to think I can be a school teacher if I can't even make it two months serving in a role working with kids in a church? Whatever. Guess I'm going to have to change my major to something else but just looking at the programs out there and there's nothing I'm passionate about like I am about working with kids. God strike me down right now. I'm tired of experiencing this kind of pain every few months because I apparently do not know how to handle relationships with others without crossing that invisible line between being caring and being too close.