I Just Don't Understand

I just don't understand why people overreact to such innocent things. What is it with this world that something that means absolutely nothing is taken absolutely the wrong way and people have to get hurt from it and experience great pain and disappointment.

Seriously, I just do not understand. I posted something so innocent and yet Derek Dale and the rest of the important people at Daystar completely overreacted for no reason. Yes I am 27 and I called a 12 year old girl beautiful. Big freaking deal! But because of that I can no longer serve on Wednesday nights, service with KPC or attend Motion. What kind of ridiculous crap is this? I could understand their issue if I had called her sexy or something else along those lines but not beautiful. Just a basic compliment that meant absolutely nothing other than me just being me, nice and caring.

Why in the world do I have to be so nice and caring. I had just finished telling someone the other day that I am too nice at times and it gets me in trouble. This is exactly what I was talking about. Because I am too nice and caring I am now experiencing great pain and can no longer do the things I love to do or that I am good at. The only thing I am good at. The reason I am going to school.

What kind of fool must I be to think I can be a school teacher if I can't even make it two months serving in a role working with kids in a church? Whatever. Guess I'm going to have to change my major to something else but just looking at the programs out there and there's nothing I'm passionate about like I am about working with kids. God strike me down right now. I'm tired of experiencing this kind of pain every few months because I apparently do not know how to handle relationships with others without crossing that invisible line between being caring and being too close.

Bad Day

Man today has not been a good day. It all started with English this morning. We were supposed to do an essay defining Alabama. Despite living almost my whole life here I know pretty much nothing about Alabama. I know even little about writing a descriptive essay. It took me the whole class period just to get something on paper. But whatever.

Then after Psychology class I overheard this girl I like talking on the phone to I guess her boyfriend. It was a guy and she said I love you. But I'm still going to work on building up a good friendship with this girl. Still being with her and talking to her and listening to her still drives me crazy. Good crazy, not bad.

Then in math class my teacher decided that she wasn't going to take up last night's homework and instead decided our homework grade today would be a pop quiz. I knew my homework was correct but I'm pretty sure I plunked that quiz. Ugh.

Just an overall bad day made worse by how bummed out I am about this girl I like already having a boyfriend. I was so thrilled last night because God spoke to me so clearly and answered my prayer about another situation. Another learning experience that will make me a better person when it comes time for me to be in a committed relationship. It's the second such learning experience I have had to deal with in the last month. Now I'm back to feeling like I'm having to go through all these learning experiences about relationships that I won't never actually get the use.

I guess I should just go to bed now.

Chasing After My Dreams

Today was a very special day for me. I got to go back to Cultivate Church and visit some old friends that I hadn't seen in a few months. I also finally got to meet someone person who I had only had the joy of talking to online.

I few months ago I realized that God's calling in my life was to become an slementary school teacher. I knew I had always wanted to do something that invoked kids but I didn't know exactly what that was. Finally I heard God's voice telling me that I was to be a school teacher.

I was very scared, but knew that this would be a big faith building season in my life. So I put my full trust in God and set the wheels in motion to start the schooling I needed to reach this dream of becoming an elementary school teacher.

I start school on August 15th and while I'm still very unsure of what I'm doing I fully believe that this is God's plan for this season of my life to make this dream come true. And even if I fall flat on my face at least I know that I gave it my best effort and that God has something else in store for me.

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

~~~Jeremiah 29:11