Bad Day

Man today has not been a good day. It all started with English this morning. We were supposed to do an essay defining Alabama. Despite living almost my whole life here I know pretty much nothing about Alabama. I know even little about writing a descriptive essay. It took me the whole class period just to get something on paper. But whatever.

Then after Psychology class I overheard this girl I like talking on the phone to I guess her boyfriend. It was a guy and she said I love you. But I'm still going to work on building up a good friendship with this girl. Still being with her and talking to her and listening to her still drives me crazy. Good crazy, not bad.

Then in math class my teacher decided that she wasn't going to take up last night's homework and instead decided our homework grade today would be a pop quiz. I knew my homework was correct but I'm pretty sure I plunked that quiz. Ugh.

Just an overall bad day made worse by how bummed out I am about this girl I like already having a boyfriend. I was so thrilled last night because God spoke to me so clearly and answered my prayer about another situation. Another learning experience that will make me a better person when it comes time for me to be in a committed relationship. It's the second such learning experience I have had to deal with in the last month. Now I'm back to feeling like I'm having to go through all these learning experiences about relationships that I won't never actually get the use.

I guess I should just go to bed now.

I Think I'm In Love

I am going through a very weird and at the same time awesome situation right now. For years now I have prayed for God to send me soul mate. Someone that I could be with day and night, laugh with, cry with, but most of all love. Someone that loves me unconditionally.

I have prayed that prayer for a good 3 years now. I had all but given up hope of that happening and learning to live my life on my own without a companion here on earth in the human form.

But then last Wednesday happened clear out of the blue. The more I learn about this smart, funny, beautiful, wonderful girl the more amazed I am and the more I feel like she might be the one that God has sent to be with me.

I have a connection to this girl that I didn't know about until today. This connection makes me feel even more like God's hands are all over this situation and that he's working his magic in my life and I'm about to receive a huge blessing.

Today when she saw me her face just lit up in that amazing, indescribably look. The look you see from kids on Christmas morning. The look that men get when see their brides on their weeding day. That just wow look. But the feeling I got when I saw her face. My heart started doing flips.

All I want to do is spend time with her and talk to her and listen to her talk. I feel like we're the only two people on the planet when I'm with her. I can't breathe. I can't think. But I don't have to think because everything just comes naturally.

I have never felt this way before so if this is what being in love feels like, I absolutely cannot get enough of this feeling. The saddest part of my day was having to say goodbye to her.

The Girl I Love

There's a girl that I met just a few months ago but I feel like I had known her my whole life. I instantly fell in love with her. She's so wonderful. She's truly a beautiful person inside and out. But the most important thing about her is that she loves God and it really shows.

I think about her constantly. I dream about her. I love talking to her and being able to spend time with her when I can. I really believe that she is the one for me. I wish I could tell her that but I can't because she's already in a pretty serious relationship that is just ripping my heart out.

The dream I had about her last night was amazing. Her boyfriend (which I have never met in real life) did something to her that made her cry and I saw it and it really upset me to see her crying.

I went up to that jerk and told him what a big moron he was and then he punched me in the face, knocking me down.

I knew it was a dream because in real life I would have been down for the count and then after I collected myself I would have started swinging. But in my dream I didn't. I didn't feel a thing when he punched me.

I just picked myself up and told him that he needed to change his attitude or he was going to spend his life alone. Then I went over to the girl and told her how I felt about her and her tears of pain became tears of joy and she hugged me so hard I thought I was going to break. But it was the greatest feeling in the world.

It just kills me that it was only a dream and not real life. The only thing I can do is to continue to live my daily life for God doing the things I need to do and hoping that one day soon I will get the chance to tell this girl how I feel about her. Until then I'll continue holding true to this picture.

*The girl's name was withheld to protect her privacy.