I'm So Lost

I don't even know where to begin. My head, my heart, my soul, my faith, my trust, my belief is all over the place these days. Pretty much I'm living a nightmare every day and I have no idea when this nightmare will be over and what will happen in the end. I live everyday in fear and most people just don't give a damn and that sucks. So many have turned on me and sigh... It really is true that people love to kick you when you're down.

Seriously, forgiveness and understanding is nowhere to be found. It's amazing that people can know me so well and still think I did something I didn't do or that I had some kind of evil intentions. That's the part that just blows me away the most. I guess I'm just a rare person in that I'm loyal to people even if that loyalty isn't returned to me. So, there's nothing more I can say I guess.

Learning To Let Go

I think learning to let go is something that everyone struggles with at different times throughout their lives. Humans in general are creatures of habit who hate change and I know that definitely describes me.

We tend to just want to hang onto that someone or something that we're comfortable with no matter how much damage it does to us just because we're opposed to change. I am struggling with that myself in getting over Brittany and what we had together. I keep finding myself drawn back to her and ignoring all the negative things there was about the relationship we had. A relationship that was purely deadly because it lacked the most important thing you need in a relationship, God.

God gives us free will to make our own decisions but if you are truly saved and truly a person of faith, then you should want to do what God says and cling to Him in these times. There is a reason that relationship ended. It is because God has better for you. God will never deny you what is good and just.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously,

and he will give you everything you need.

~~~Matthew 6:33 (NLT)

I have learned that when we cling to these old relationships or things we are saying that we do not trust God. All of our hope, faith, and trust should be in God and God alone. Nothing else.

I once heard someone say that "faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase." That applies right now in this situation and all situations. Take the first step. Put your entire hope, faith, and trust in our LORD Jesus Christ!! He is the one and only Savior!!