You Came To My Rescue

Just when I'm feeling as low as scum and as far away from God as I possibly can, he somehow pulls at my heart strings and breaks down the wall that I'm building between him and me. I don't know how he does it. It's truly remarkable the power that God has to get to you when you feel all alone and like nobody cares. But he does. He cares.

I don't know why when I start feeling overwhelmed by life, I pull away from God instead of running to him. I draw into myself and put as many walls as I can between myself and God. And then in once instance he blasts them to bits and my heart of stone melts in his hands. That's how I know I'm truly loved. Even if nobody here on this earth loves me God does. He always comes to my rescue when I need him the most. Thank you LORD. Thank you my God. Thank you for loving me when others don't.

I Miss My Brother

There are some songs that when you hear them they take to back to a certain place, time or person. Well I hear this song tonight and every time I hear this song I think about my cousin David. The song is 'If I Could Be Like That' by 3 Doors Down.

David was 2 years older than me. He was like the older brother I never had. We were very close. He was killed in a car wreak in 2002 when he was only 17. It's really hard to believe that it's been that long ago. I miss you David! I can't wait to see you again someday in Heaven!

The Girl I Love

There's a girl that I met just a few months ago but I feel like I had known her my whole life. I instantly fell in love with her. She's so wonderful. She's truly a beautiful person inside and out. But the most important thing about her is that she loves God and it really shows.

I think about her constantly. I dream about her. I love talking to her and being able to spend time with her when I can. I really believe that she is the one for me. I wish I could tell her that but I can't because she's already in a pretty serious relationship that is just ripping my heart out.

The dream I had about her last night was amazing. Her boyfriend (which I have never met in real life) did something to her that made her cry and I saw it and it really upset me to see her crying.

I went up to that jerk and told him what a big moron he was and then he punched me in the face, knocking me down.

I knew it was a dream because in real life I would have been down for the count and then after I collected myself I would have started swinging. But in my dream I didn't. I didn't feel a thing when he punched me.

I just picked myself up and told him that he needed to change his attitude or he was going to spend his life alone. Then I went over to the girl and told her how I felt about her and her tears of pain became tears of joy and she hugged me so hard I thought I was going to break. But it was the greatest feeling in the world.

It just kills me that it was only a dream and not real life. The only thing I can do is to continue to live my daily life for God doing the things I need to do and hoping that one day soon I will get the chance to tell this girl how I feel about her. Until then I'll continue holding true to this picture.

*The girl's name was withheld to protect her privacy.

An Angel Sent To Rescue Me

On January 29th, 2011 I met someone who I can only describe as an Angel sent down from Heaven to show me the love that God has for me. This person knows who they are and I've told this person and let this person know many, many times how much they mean to me in my life and how I don't know where I would be without this person in my life.

This Angel came down when I had just moved to Cullman and really needed a friend. Someone to love me and show me that God had not forgotten about me. Someone that to this very day continues to show me God's love for me. I cannot begin to express to show my love and appreciation for what this person has done for me. The new doors that this person opened in my life.

This person has allowed me to grow so much over the course of the past year but there is still a long way to go. I really wish I could do something for this person to pay back what they've done for me. But I can't. All I can say is thank you my friend and Angel and I love you friend!

I'm Back!

I have been away for a long time! Much too long! Well now I'm back and better than ever! Hope you all enjoy my blog where we'll talk about all kinds of things but mostly sports and life. So I hope you all enjoy reading my blog.

Thank you, Big T

I Am So Blessed!

These past couple of weeks have just been completely amazing. I never saw this coming. For the first time ever I was finally fully committed to turning my life over to the Lord. Before when I thought that I had, I never really had. I never let go of those deep dark secrets in the closet.

This time was different though in that I had to come out to someone and get help. I have started getting that help and the recovery process has started and been faster than I thought it would be.

Now I'm no where near where I need to be in my relationship with the Lord but boy am I a ton closer than I've ever been. It's truly rewarding learning and finally understanding the great love our Lord has for me. I have been praying every night for everyone to come to understand that love for themselves. Because until you do you will continue to be lost and lonely in this earthy world.

I never realized the many blessings I have been given in this world. From my wonderful loving God, my family and my very near friends. You all know who you are. I'm saying from the bottom of my heart thank you to my Lord and to my family and to my very dearest friends. May you all receive many, many blessings.

Forgiveness

No one likes to be lonely. That's a fact. God built us so that we would never feel complete all by ourselves. God didn't built us for the sole purpose of finding our soul mate on this earth. Our true soul mate is the Lord himself. He wants us to long and need him. He wants us to cry for him. He wants us to realize that all that even though all material things will one day pass away our relationship with our Lord and Savior will never perish.

It is in this time of great need All Mighty One that I come to you in prayer. That you destroy the doors on my steel trap of a heart and melt me again. That I will feel your presence in this place. That you will lift me up from the fiery pits of hell. Take me and save me oh Lord.

It is in this time that I ask all of my dear friends on this earth to please pray for me and all the sins I have committed and will continue to commit. I am not perfect and never will be perfect nor clean and deserving of the great friendship I have with you. But now is a time I am praying and begging for you all to help me ask the Lord to forgive me and take me back into his kingdom.

Dear Lord, please wash the stains of my sins off this soul you have given me. Make me your child again Father. I don't deserve your gracefulness Lord. You sent your one and only beloved Son to die for me Lord and I am forever grateful. This isn't just for looks. This is for real. I know I say that every time and I am led away from you by my sins. I wish that never happened. I wish I knew I could promise you that it would never ever happen again but I can't. I can only hope that you forgive me each time it does happen. So Lord in closing this prayer please take me and make me whole. I pray this in honor of your Son's Holy name, AMEN!