Coming Clean

In my last post I explained that I finally realize what it means to fully surrender but I didn't give a battle plan on how to fully surrender. As I said previously, to fully surrender you must first come clean of any deep dark secrets that may be haunting you. Those chains of past hurts, mistakes, decisions we've done, both intentionally and unintentionally.

So here it is, I'm finally coming clean. As a child I was sexually abused. There's no need for details because it's all in God's hands now, but I have never told that to anyone before expect a couple of very close and important people that have truly shown me what it means for God to love us unconditionally. Sadly my story doesn't end there, a few years after this happened to me I in turn did the same thing to a couple of younger kids. I was just curious. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. My thinking of right from wrong had been warped to believe that this was a natural part of growing up. That those older than you look and touch you because they're curious and then you in turn pass that along. But I realize that is not right. It's wrong and I have lived in fear of ever admitting that to anyone. I've lived in my own prison for nearly 20 years.

I have tried many times in the past to surrender my life to Christ but I was never fully surrendering because I refused to give up these chains of my past because I never wanted to admit that they happened. I lived a life of denial. I closed off that part of my life from anyone including myself, but most importantly God. It is now out in the open and I now fully surrender my life to Christ. I have asked for forgiveness and mercy on my soul.

You now know my life story, the question now is what will you do with it? Will you love me or hate me? That decision is yours. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness and let go of it. God has set me free from these chains. For the first time in my life I finally have freedom. Praise God that Jesus died so we don't have to live with chains like this. That we can finally have a real life. I've finally got a peace that I have longed denied myself because I let fear control me. But when you allow God to put the right people in your life to lead you to freedom and you trust Him anything is possible! I trust you Lord!